Cooles and heates: if you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself. - Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan

Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed. - Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations

Please do not bring solicitors into your room. Hotel room notice, Chiang-mai, Thailand

This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude. - Hotel brochure, Italy

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. - Hotel lobby, Bucharest

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. - Hotel, Japan

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. - Hotel catering to skiers, Austria

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter. - Hotel, Vienna

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. - Moscow hotel room

Please dial 7 to retrieve your auto from the garbage. - Rome hotel room

All rooms not denounced by twelve o'clock will be paid for twicely - At a Budapest hotel

We highly recommend the hotel tart - Torremolinos hotel

Is forbidden to steal towels, please. If you are not person to do such is please not to read notice. - Sign in Tokyo hotel